Embracing the Joy of Spending: A Guide to Spending with Confidence

Finding Balance in Spending and Saving for a Fulfilling Life

Spending doesn’t have to be a source of guilt. By embracing mindful spending, you can enhance your life while still achieving your financial goals.

Many of us in our late 30s have dedicated years to building our careers and achieving milestones that once seemed out of reach. With our financial situations improving, we often find ourselves feeling a bit adrift—especially when it comes to how we view spending. It’s common to grapple with the idea that spending equates to indulgence, impulsiveness, or irresponsibility. Today, let’s explore why spending, when approached mindfully, can be a positive force in our lives.

Understanding Lifestyle Creep

A recent conversation with a client of my financial planning practice highlighted the concerns many face regarding increased spending. She hesitated to invest in a gym that offered extra benefits like childcare, fearing it might signal lifestyle creep—the tendency to let our spending gradually rise as our income increases. While it's important to be mindful of this tendency, not all increased spending is detrimental.

If your income has risen, and you’re saving adequately while meeting your financial goals, spending more on something that genuinely brings you joy is not just acceptable; it’s a smart choice. You’ve worked hard to achieve this level of financial self-reliance, and enjoying the benefits is part of that journey.

Reframing Our Relationship with Money

For many, societal messages shape how we perceive spending. We’ve been taught to save, scrimp, and prioritize frugality. However, saving is commendable, and managing spending is crucial, but there’s no prize for living as cheaply as possible.

Instead of viewing spending as a negative, consider reframing it. Spending shouldn’t be seen as a guilty pleasure or an irresponsible act; it can be a deliberate decision that enhances your life. When you choose to invest in experiences, services, or items that add value, you’re making a conscious choice that aligns with your priorities.

A Framework for Mindful Spending

To engage in spending that feels empowering, it’s helpful to create a framework that allows you to make confident financial choices. This framework should account for your long-term goals, values, and obligations, ensuring that you’re not only saving for the future but also enjoying your present.

  1. Set Clear Financial Goals: Know how much you want to save for retirement, a dream vacation, or a future home. Having these goals in mind gives you a clearer understanding of how much you can allocate for discretionary spending.

  2. Budget with Intention: Develop a budget that reflects your values. Identify areas where you’re comfortable spending more on the things that genuinely bring you joy—whether it’s fitness classes, dining out, or travel experiences.

  3. Prioritize Experiences Over Things: Research consistently shows that spending on experiences leads to greater happiness than material possessions. Consider investing in activities that create lasting memories.

  4. Regularly Review Your Finances: Make it a habit to review your budget and spending regularly. This helps you adjust your spending in alignment with your evolving goals and values.

  5. Practice Gratitude: Each time you make a purchase, take a moment to reflect on how it enhances your life. This practice can shift your mindset from one of guilt to one of appreciation.

Finding Joy in Thoughtful Spending

Returning to the gym example, choosing to invest in a facility that offers childcare and additional benefits isn’t just about the cost; it’s about enhancing your well-being. If this gym helps you stay fit, reduces stress, and provides peace of mind, that’s a value worth spending on.

When you approach spending from this perspective, it transforms into an act of self-care rather than indulgence. You’re not just purchasing a service; you’re prioritizing your health, happiness, and overall quality of life. And that’s something worth celebrating.

The Myth of Deprivation

One of the biggest challenges many face is the misconception that they must deprive themselves to be financially responsible. This belief can lead to a cycle of guilt and resentment. It’s crucial to remember that managing finances doesn’t require constant denial of your desires.

You don’t have to spend recklessly to enjoy your hard-earned money, nor do you need to avoid spending altogether. Aim for a balanced approach that allows you to save while also savoring the present.

A Final Thought: Spending as an Act of Empowerment

In a world filled with pressure to manage finances perfectly, it’s vital to recognize that spending isn’t inherently bad. It can be a source of joy and empowerment when approached thoughtfully. By embracing a mindset that values both saving and spending, you can create a financial landscape that aligns with your life goals and values.

So, the next time you’re faced with a spending decision, ask yourself: Does this bring me joy or add value to my life? Does it leave my path toward longer-term goals and priorities unobstructed? If the answer is yes to both questions, embrace it without guilt. Your financial journey is not just about the money you save but also about the life you choose to lead.

Let’s celebrate our successes, enjoy our hard-earned resources, and navigate this journey together—one thoughtful spending decision at a time.

Joe Conklin Shure, CFP®

I’m a financial planner who helps mid-career millennials build working lives that honor their values. Let’s navigate this late-capitalist hellscape together 🔥

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